As we all know, A LOT of people (particularly the female gender) have been embarking on a hair journey within the past few years, and the numbers keep rising with more joining in. Some focus on achieving healthier hair while others want to achieve a length of hair they’ve never seen, or felt possible, coming from their scalp.
My experience was a little different. I did not begin my hair journey for health or length. Matter of fact, I didn’t really know I was jumping on board a journey. Let me explain.
See, it all started when I thought I met the love of my life. Being in a position in my life where I wanted to make some positive changes, I felt that the Lord had blessed me with this man whom posed himself to be a Man of God. He modeled himself as someone whom I can trust. Long-story-short, we were married and separated in less than a month.
What I came to realize was that most of what he told me was a lie. We are legally divorced now, but our separation in 2009 left me with a head full of deteriorating hair. My time spent with my ex-husband was filled with stress and deceit that it caused my hair to start falling out. Also, he complained about my spending “too much time” in the bathroom, so I hindered the hygiene of my hair among other things to make him feel comfortable; which contributed to my hair loss as well.
Crazy, I know. But things happen and we grow from them. November 2009 was my official first big chop. Keep in my mind, with any journey, there is a chance for a setback. In my case, I had a few.
After my first big chop, I decided I would wear wigs until my hair grew to a decent length in which I could style it on its own. Below are some pics of my hair out & my first hair style after months of hiding my coils:
I didn’t really like how I looked. I wasn’t even aware of twist outs then (which I probably would have liked since I where them most of time now), and I had no idea how to take care of this head full of kinks and coils; especially since I’ve had a perm since I was nine years old. All I knew how to care for was straight hair, weaves, and braids.
That’s when I turned to the infamous Keratin Treatment. I spent hundreds of dollars to end up losing my natural curl pattern, and eventually have thinning hair…again. Back to the drawing board.
It toke me till 2011 to decide that I needed to transition back to natural. Being that I recently moved to a completely different state, and still had no clue WHAT I was doing with my hair, I transitioned with a series of different beauticians/hairstylists. Couldn’t find one I was completely satisfied with.
Then there was a situation when I went to get my hair dyed and shaped, and left with a whole other big chop. You can only imagine how livid I was. I loathe when people try to take advantage of others, or take someone else’s matters into their own hands without consulting with the person first.
So in 2012, I had to start all over again. My current husband didn’t really care for wigs, so I tried my hardest to build my self-esteem, and adjust to this new look:
I received compliments all the time from people saying things like, ‘That’s a good look for you’ or ‘your cheek bones really make that hairstyle work’. However with the support of my husband, I eventually became comfortable, but I knew that hairstyle was not my preference. That is when I truly underwent this journey. I did my research. I began to learn my hair. And I began to start caring for my hair on my own. I must say, I’ve come a long way; to the point where I’m able to give others advice and suggestions on how to care for their hair.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am still on this hair journey, and am still learning new things on this voyage. I would have never thought that a failed marriage would lead in a path of finding myself through my hair follicles. It’s quite funny actually, now that I think about it.
Better still, I am glad to see my hair in its healthiest state ever. My goal is to continue improving myself, and my technique, to achieve and retain more health and length.
Are you on a hair journey? What are some of your goals?